Sunday, January 31, 2010

Mayhem Unfurled Revisited

This is part of an earlier post on my other blog at WordPress on 14th November 2007. I am adding it here since it is one of those experiences which brings a smile and a touch of embarrassment on my face today. Though I am tempted to edit the post for grammatical correctness and to make it even more interesting, I would not really want to package it as old wine in a new bottle. Here is how it goes.......

"Alcohol reduces your brain activity"

I got a first hand experience of the adage a few days back...........

Me, Shishir and Rohit had gone to HHH bar for a few drinks on the weekend. Over there I saw Arjun getting drunk on just a shot...... This guy goes high by just smelling alcohol. Out there we drank till the bar closed down. How much I drank I will not specify lest I get classified as a novice or an expert drunkard. At 12:30 at night,we were making our way back. At the gates the security asked us to stop and enter our names in the security register. I entered mine as C.V. Raman, Rohit was Ramanujan and Shishir was Albert Einstein, so much so for the hallowed security. On the way back I could feel myself a lot light and was walking on thin air. Shishir had caught hold of junior and was giving him advices about the worldly ways. People always give advices and become caring about the world when they get drunk.

I guess drinks should come with the tag-line,

"We care about the world".

The junior was clearly having a bad time or one whale of a time.

Phase 1

In front of PGH or the girls hostel in our college I called up my girlfriend[let's call Miss X for the purpose of privacy :)] and told her to come to the balcony of her room which faces the road though a bit far off. I stood under a lamp-post and started blowing kisses at Miss X. Now how does the lamp-post come in. Well I did it so that she could see me in the dark. What did not hit me at that time was that I was visible to the teachers residence right opposite the hostel. At that time Laws of light were that only Miss X could see me. Well Miss X got afraid and told me to move from there. I only budged from there when I got Miss X to come to the portico at the other end of the hostel which is just opposite to the road.

Phase 2

When she was out at the portico Rohit had a sudden urge to talk to his girlfriend, I told Miss X to go wake her up. Miss X was reluctant but then sentimental blackmail forced her on her way. So when she was back I was shouting at Miss X at one corner and Rohit at the other end. Don't get me wrong. I was shouting because I felt I was speaking softly but actually according to decibel levels the whole hostel could hear me. I did not know how long I talked or what I talked. But soon I could see the watchman coming towards us. I caught Rohit's shoulder and we walked away like the 2 most decent souls in this world.

Phase 3

The next day morning I had to make 5 phone calls to Miss X just with explanations how I got drunk and why. Then the bombshells landed about what I had said. The sumarised words are as follows:

Excerpt 1:

"Your friend Miss Y had danced very well at Hillffair(the fest in our college) at the Hamirpur grounds but the basta** Hamirpur people were so much I could not watch properly." I also told her to call Miss Y whom I wanted to congratulate right then.


1. Hillffair is not held in Hamirpur grounds but in the College ground.

2. Hamirpur folks do not come to watch it.

3. If I could not watch properly how do I know.

4. Miss Y was sleeping and it was 1:30 at night.

5. I had never talked to Miss Y in my life before

Excerpt 2:

I was blowing Miss X kisses non stop for 5 minutes and told her "She was looking beautiful and I will break the wall, jump from the road and come to the balcony"


1. She was standing in the dark and I could not actually see her, that part of memory is dark.

2. I cannot break a wall.

3. The balcony and the road are at a distance of 15 metres and is separated by a fall of 2 storeys.

4. I am not Tarzan.

5. I did not have a watch.

Excerpt 3:

Miss X told me "The watchman might come". I replied valiantly and said "The watchman's ******* I will bash him up"


1. I was seeing multiple images so that meant my hands would fly all around.

2. The watchman had sticks and had accomplices.

3. I want to finish my degree.

Well the other excerpts are cut out as per Miss X's edit instructions. There is one great thing about getting drunk and talking to your girlfriend. You do not have to try to speak from your heart, you actually do speak from your heart. All the things that accumulate in your heart do come out. It's one whale of a time and worth having. It's about living life without inhibitions.

Knock knock, I am not drunk right now. So let's cut the crap. I came back to the hostel played imaginary football prevented Rohit from going to take a cold water bath at 2 o cloak at night and went to sleep.

It was mayhem and the next day hangover and explanation sessions to Miss X were even worse


So that was the entire undiluted entry. It brings a smile on my face even today.


  1. That post required some guts man.....I can't stop laughing.. Miss X would have been really embarassed for this...Shishir would have sermonized the poor junior.....
    Brilliant post dost...College nostalgia evoked.....

  2. Gee, only I know the amount of pains I had to endure as a result. Miss X was not completely mad since I said a lot of nice things as well(edited of course). Its one of the best compliments I can receive that I have evoked nostalgia. Thanks :)

  3. Great to read it once again!! In fact I don't remember how many times I have read it since morning :)
    Wish we could go back to those days :(

  4. Alcohol probably gets the little boy to rise above the old man.

  5. Boy! And who the warden of PGH was at that time? :)

  6. @Saroj maam -> I would prefer to side step the question :). I am glad I got my degree untainted but it was lovely to see you reading and then comment on my blog.